Football Humor

Ohio State's Urban Meyer on one of his players: "He doesn't know the meaning of the word fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn't know the meaning of a lot of words."

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Why do Tennessee fans wear orange? So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up trash on Monday.

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What does the average Alabama player get on his SATs? Drool.

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How many Michigan freshmen football players does it take to change a light bulb?
None. That's a sophomore course.

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How did the Georgia football player die from drinking milk? The cow fell on him.

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Two West Virginia football players were walking in the woods. One of them said, "Look, a dead bird." The other looked up in the sky and said, "Where?"

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A University of Cincinnati football player was almost killed yesterday in a tragic horseback-riding accident. He fell from a horse and was nearly trampled to death. Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out and unplugged the horse. ___________________________________________



What do you say to a University of Miami Hurricane football player dressed in a three-piece suit? "Will the defendant please rise."

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If three Florida State football players are in the same car, who is driving?
The police officer.

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How can you tell if an Auburn football player has a girlfriend? There's tobacco juice on both sides of the pickup truck.

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What do you get when you put 32 Arkansas cheerleaders in one room?
A full set of teeth.

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University of Michigan Coach Brady Hoke is only going to dress half of his players for the game this week. The other half will have to dress themselves.

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How is the Indiana football team like an opossum? They play dead at home and get killed on the road.

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Why did the Nebraska linebacker steal a police car? He saw "911" on the side and thought it was a Porsche.

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How do you get a former Illinois football player off your porch?
Pay him for the pizza.

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