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Sunday, December 30, 2012

ND vs. Alabama Things to Watch and Listen for

Like all of you, we here at Subway Alumni Station are beside ourselves in anticipation of The Game. 

Unfortunately along with way too many TV commerical timeouts, numerous stops in the action for play reviews and countless advertisements on the Jumbotron, plus their are signs along the sidelines, logos on the field or projected on the TV sreeen through sneaky means and there are still other distractions to suffer through.
Thus we have put together a list of Obligatory Camera Shots and Mind Numbing Dribble from the broadcast crew that you undoubtedly will see and hear.

The Obligatory Crap:
A large group of students/fans in the front row, mostly drunk, with painted team colored chests and faces screaming and yelling that they are number 1while holding up their index fingers.

At the end of a play, a traumatized player flipping his hand in the air throwing an imaginary flag and looking for a referee to agree.
With every possible opportunity in catching reactions from a coach to something that happened on the field, a camera will be there to record the action.  Of course this includes coaches spitting and picking their noses as a bonus.  (This camera shot will be repeated throughout the game until it is beyond annoying.)

The end of first half, the 30 second interview with each head coach as they try and get off the field.  Men used to conduct these but finally realized that women were better suited for asking asinine and obvious questions with obvious answers.
Opposing players and coaches signaling incomplete pass even before a referee can signal that it was a completed pass.

A grouping of each cheerleading squad including mascot screaming something and holding up the usual right index finger.  They maybe saying that they are #1, however we are never sure.
A defensive player after making a nice tackle, sack or pass breakup, running off the field and eating out of an imaginary bowl signifying “eating this us” or some other stupid thing.

A player scoring a touchdown, PAT, field goal, or safety and raising his arm and hand extending his index finger to heaven.  For some players this is the most religious as they have ever gotten.
The Dribble:  This will come almost totally from Brent Musburger, the ESPN play-by-play announcer.  It is enough to either make you constantly scream or hit the mute button on the remote.

First of all, Kirk Herbstriet is constantly referred to as "Herbie" as in Herbie from the Love Bug.  For gods sake, the man has a name, Kirk, how would Brent liked to be called "Muskie" or maybe "Burger?"

What will we hear first, “You’re looking live…” This is one of Bent Musberger’s catch phrases that he utters at the start of each telecast.  We already know what we are watching and all wishing we were there.

Musburger also likes to refer to some imaginery person as “The Pardner.” 

Of course we all are referred to as “Folks.”

“It’s a foot race!”   Yes their will be a long run with someone chasing the ball carrier and it becomes a foot race.  If this involves George Atkinson or Theo Riddick it will be a good thing.

“There’s that man again.” After someone becomes “That Man,” hopefully it will be Manti Te'o.

Brent will mention the title sponsor at least half a dozen times as part of the commentary, guess it is in his contract as an incentive clause.

“In the college game.”  Brent likes to let us all know he is aware of the NFL and NCAA football rules.

Calling a touchdown before the player actually scores. For example, during an interception return, Brent says “It’s a touchdown!” before the player actually scores.  Let's pray he is referring to Bennett Jackson.

“Herbie, my man.” this is his way of showing respect to Kirk.  Who secretly may be also a "Pardner."

“The Big Hawaiian."  If Brent has a pet nickname for one of the players during the game, for example calling Manti Te'o “The Big Hawaiian,” is the highest type of praise Brent can exclaim.

“My Friend.”  Brent stole this worn-out phrase from Lee Corso.  They both should drop it.

Well their you have it, the Obligatory camera shots and Tired Commentary.  Regardless and in spite of, Notre Dame will prevail.

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