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Wednesday, June 8, 2011

A Terrelle Pryor and Jim Tressel Roast

Sometimes the guys on the Cartier Field Bulletin Board over at NDNation just have a blast with a topic.  What other hot topic is better than beating up Terrelle Pryor, Jim Tressel and Ohio State Football?  If that tattoo guy in Columbus hadn’t been part of a federal drug investigation we never would have had the scandal.  Funny how that works.  If Reggie Bush had promised to pay back that crooked sports agent, the U$C mess would never have surfaced either.  The whole college cheating and lying mess is a black eye on college football in general and we have not heard the last at UNC or what might have happened with Newton and Auburn. 
I wish I could give credit for the one-liners and the roasting but everyone uses ‘Handles’ over there.  Leisa our senior editor did the cut and paste.  Anyway, some great gallows humor.

Probably going into the sports memorabilia business with OJ.
This statement (Pryor speaking through lawyer) is priceless…  It begins, "In the best interest of my teammates . . ."
When has that guy done anything that was not in the best interest of Terrelle Pryor first, middle and last? For him to pretend, or try to make anyone believe, that he is acting on behalf of anyone but himself is transparently nauseating.

I think LSU Feek should use the ending of Breaker Morant as the inspiration of his tOSU .gif.  Tressel and Pryor walking hand in hand to the execution chair, the NCAA as the firing squad. tOSU is in for some epic penalties when all this is done.
Can he transfer to Auburn?
Do they have salary cap space left after Cameron Newton?
When will the IRS come calling?
Good news is that he could actually afford all those cars.
College sports just became a little cleaner today.
Headline: "OSU fans march in support of Tressel."
Fans marched a mile in unbearable heat to support Tressel in his really expensive home.
"This march included signs that read, "Thank You Jim," and "You're in Our Prayers" and "We Support You Jim." Several fans wore Tressel-specific T-shirts of support."

Beyond the Tressel house was a fork in the road.  Half the crowd went one way in search of a clue. The other half went the other way in search of a life.
Was there a single person among them who is a manager ...and would gladly look the other way if an employee lied to him/her and to a regulatory body, thereby triggering an investigation and punishment?

200 fans in an area that has probably 100,000 tosu alums I'd bet that there are more than 100,00 tosu alums living within 50 miles of the Columbus area.

Apparently 99,800 of them were rational for the day.
That was just a quick Facebook gathering.  It was organized in about 24 hours. The band will soon march to Tressel's house, and I am sure the crowd will be much bigger.

Don't these people have cars?  March to Jack Maxton Chevy.  Tell 'em coach Tressel sent you.

They don't have insurance.

(In response to a OSU troll)........

Like most OSU fans, you've been duped........ It shows just how little an education OSU provides that so many of your alums have been duped by this fraud.

And his calculated actions are going to crush your precious football program.  Yet, you still love him.

I love how OSU fans refer to this as him making a "mistake".  Too funny.  Guys who push beyond the limits of the rules for two decades don't make mistakes.
They all have forgotten he has been a weasel for 20+ years.
Tressel should do what a self respecting coach does when a scandal breaks out, go coach the Seahawks.
Another osu standby: "everybody does it”  This is not just their excuse, rather their mantra for why it is OK for Ohio State athletics to bend the rules whenever they need to. Every osu fan I know says this as though it somehow makes it OK. It's like saying: well, sure I broke your window by throwing a rock through it, but everybody does it. It must be OK.
Possible sanctions:  Loss of all tuba band scholarships so they can’t dot the i.  Loss of “the” in their name, the Ohio State University”.

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